Thursday, July 23, 2009

Just so you know

I have been so overwhelmed by the love and prayers you all have sent this week and in the past month. Yes times are hard right now. But as I have thought upon it, I wanted you all to know that my husband is not a monster nor is he hateful. He, like I, has made some mistakes. We all have. For those I forgive him, much as I am sure he would/has forgiven me. I have a whole lot of things to work on in my behavior and that is what I am doing now because I am sure not perfect and have made a lot of mistakes that I wish I could change. So I can't be too hard on anyone else.

My husband is a good person, one that tries to help others. He has always been someone who is very intelligent and insightful. He is one of the best management leaders around. He can motivate others like no one else. He has a good heart, he really does. He does tend to keep things to himself, which is not good for anyone.

He has experienced a lot of grief in his life as well although he never speaks about it.
He has long been my best friend and confidant. He was and still is the light and love of my life. He has always tried hard to take good care of us.He is really great with the fur kids. They love him so; they keep looking for him. I don't want people to think he is bad because of what has happened. He is not. I think he just got overwhelmed and didn't know what to do.
As many of you know, he had some serious health issues this past year and I think that was a really big part of the stress that lead up to this.
I am trying to find and develop a spiritual life to help us deal with life. I think God would forgive him as I hope God will forgive me for my part in this whole mess. I am praying that God will find us and help us heal. I really am. I do love him. He may be a little bugger, but he is my little bugger.

I am thankful to all my blog friends that support me here; and could you please say a prayer for my husband that he finds his heart and his way back home again? Thanks and my love to you all.

9 comments:

Parsley said...

We all have shortcomings and God loves us through it all. I hope you find direction and complete peace that only God can give. Still praying and caring...

carolyn@primitive~devotion said...

Consider it done. Praying now and will keep it up. Hang in there!

Leslie ~ HarvestHomePrimitives said...

Merrie; I know no one thinks bad of your husband! We all have our shortcomings in this life and things happen. I can tell by your words just how much you love him. I will be praying that God will see the two of you through this. Just know that we are all here for you.

Kim's Treasures said...

Praying!!!

cynthialeedesigns said...

Merrie,
I will keep you both in my prayers.
hugs,
Cindy

Linda said...

Goodness, no one is perfect. We are all just human. I, too, believe having faith is the answer.
WORRY ENDS WHERE FAITH BEGINS.
I will continue in prayer for you both; for your physical and emotional health. GOD is with you.

Shanda said...

Merrie, my heart is just breaking for you right now. I wish I could just hug yoiu so tight and squeeze all this hearache away. So so sorry about Niles. Maybe your hubby is greving more than you think and know. Who kows, men are so very different than we, they think so differenty and your right, they hardly show emotion. I feel bad that you have lived in fear for a few years that this might happen again, that is not good for you and you deserve better than that. Maybe now is the time to pick yourself up, dust yourself off and from this day forward, you will live in fear of nothing. You are in control now, if you don't want to lose your dogs and home, then yiou won't. You have to realize that you are in control of every decision that will prevent all that from happening. You can do it. You, yourself and I can do this. You can work hard and all yiu have is yours for no one else to ever disrupt or take or jepordize ever again. I've have been there and did it. You can too. You might be surprised how much happier you might be. You may even fall in love again, with someone who would never do things to hurt you. We are all sinners and wrong doer's, but to keep hurting someone over and over again is not good or healthy. Hope you can talk to him soon and not keep waiting around for answers. You need to talk to him, good or bad, it will ease your mind. If you need to talk, email me and I will send you my #.
Love you and praying for you,
Shanda

Shari Kraft said...

Merrie--our love of you, extends to your hubbie too. Lean on God, he will get you thru this. I'm sure he does not want you two to call it quits, he wants you to work on yourselves, both apart and together. I don't care what anyone says, a marriage like yours is worth fighting for. Love you, girl.

Cindy B said...

With God in your heart, All things are possible. We never know what He has planned for us but He will give you all the strength and love he has to help you through every thing...and to you husband as well. None of us are perfect..God knows that better than any one. Wishing you the best, Cindy


My Country Baby Murphy