Wednesday, October 20, 2010

what's new?

Sorry that I have been AWOL for a while! My computer has died and I can't afford to replace it yet; so I am using friend's computers. Things are good here; I am happy and laughing a lot. Things are not perfect; the economics of my life aren't that good, but that will come. I have found the true love I wished and prayed for. He is good for me and my dogs! They love him so much! I never knew that I could have such a life; I have a real country life now. And I am happy with that.

This is the first Sweetest Day I have ever had that was filled with love. He cooks for me when I work late and he takes care of my bulies like they were his own. We both laugh so much when we are together that we get headaches! LOL! Thanks God for this gift. I pray it always will be this way. He makes me better than I was. And there is no misery left here. This guy makes me sparkle more than ever. I pray that I am worthy of him. I will always do my best to keep him as happy as he makes me. What a change! Life is good. We work through the imperfections of life together.

I'll write when I can; I miss you all and I try to read up when I can> Love to you all

Thursday, September 9, 2010

New Beginnings

I have been wanting to get back to my blog for a while now, but life keeps interfering! Many changes have happened this summer; I am almost afraid to share them for fear they will disappear. I have met someone kind and honest. He has been here all along, I guess just kind of waiting for me to stop chasing my tail. He has been hurt deeply in the past as I have so he gets my fears. We are just friends for now, but we get closer each day. He rides and he has made me into a better and stronger rider. He is encouraging to me; I told him one day recently that he gave me back my wings. He took the broken bits and made them whole. He makes me laugh and creates joy in my heart and soul. He is also a man that loves God. He never misses church and is not afraid to share his faith with others.

I asked God for someone like this and He answered me. I am amazed! I am enjoying the relationship we are building. I don't have any plans, but I am letting God lead me on. We have challenges in our lives, I am still married in name only, because of the insurance and financial issues; and he has been unemployed for a while, but he finds things to do to keep everything running well. Even with these issues, I feel better than ever and very optimistic for the future.

We rode in ( my first) a charity bike ride for kids; a teddy bear run to a local hospital. I tell you, in all my life, I have never felt so happy and good, riding next to my new best friend; in the warm sun. The night ended at the Pig Gig ; a local event with barbecue and music! We wound up with free VIP seats in the front row for 5 concerts that night. We rode home in the dark; a first for me really. But I felt safe; and happy!

Then last week, we went to a music event at a local biker bar; for the first time in 20 something years; I danced a slow dance with a man! We danced all night:) We also drank Diet Coke all night:) And I was flying high on my wings that night. The difference is that this is a solid feeling; a feeling of stability. The last relationship was all wild and intense and short. And left me with holes in my heart and soul.

I also got my dream job this summer; I work every Sunday at the Viking Dealer inside JoAnn's in Saginaw ,MI. I love it; its only minimum wage plus commission, and generally 8 hours per week, but it is the best!! My boss is like my twin; she is the coolest gal; I am so glad I met her!! I get to be creative and use all the machines and help others find their dream machine. I hope that as time goes on, I will get more hours, but for now this is good. Hey who else gets paid to sew? LOL!

I still have such great friends that keep my head up; and for all these blessings I am grateful. My heart is healing well and I am looking forward to where the journey takes me next. It doesn't matter where you go, it's who's beside you that counts; Life is not a destination but a journey. ( stitchery I saw today!)

So I am here; I am finding my joy and hoping that all who hurt find theirs as well. Love you all my friends!


Wednesday, July 21, 2010

One year later

One year ago today my old world ended. No warning just BAM! My husband decided without any discussion to leave our home; no reason given, but later the reason was discovered by myself.

Fast forward to today; I have learned a lot in the past year. One, I learned that I am pretty resilient. Knock me down and I get right back up again as the song says. Two, I found that I have REALLY great friends in real life as well as the blog world. Three, I learned that I can ride the lawn mower, self taught with the owner's guide tucked in my bra! LOL I also can pick up icky dead mice; as long as I have my gloves on. I learned that I like to work with wood as well as fabric. I learned some gardening; learned that I love to get my toes dirty, and I LOVE to dig, what a great therapy! I enjoy the results of my work. I have had many great comments from neighbors on the work I have done.

I found I like living alone with my bullies. I have friends who come to stay with me and I love that too. I'm okay with being here by myself. There is a peace here. I call it my sanctuary now. I also rediscovered who I am. I am the girl who loves being dirty, whose family is from the South ( no more being ashamed of that!) I love listening to all music especially country and bluegrass. I don't much care what job I get; working in a factory would be just as good as working in a fancy office. I'm not that fancy anymore.

I also lost weight ; about sixty pounds; but still have a ways to go ; like 100 lbs. But that is okay! I'm happy with what I look like right now! It's amazing the change in me; outside and inside. I'm more creative now. It is as if all the creative spirit was jammed up because of all the fear and sadness I lived in.

I have met a nice friend who is a neighbor. He rides a Harley and he is such a nice man. He has stopped by to talk a few times and has invited me to ride with him. Don't know where that will go, but that is okay. I'm not planning anything, I'm just happy to have a new friend who rides. And the cool thing is, he has seen me at my worst every time, dirty from digging, cleaning, sweaty! And this last time wearing my "did you eat an extra bowl of stupid this morning?" t-shirt. No makeup and my hair all catty wampus. He acts like I am just perfect as I am. That is so nice!

We are still married, due to the economy and my need for insurance. He takes care of many of the financial issues, but not timely and not always without a discussion. We are on the verge of losing my home which would be a really bad thing, as I have finally fallen in love with my home; I always loved the land, but not the house so much! He has now lost his job as well, but he will get unemployment as well as his pension. I am hoping for the best. I am applying everywhere for everything. I am not too proud to do any job. I have cleaned a friend's home for money. And I do not feel bad about it at all. I feel lucky to have a friend that would try to help me in such a way! I know there is a plan, but I sure wish God would kind of give me a nudge in the right direction!

So, one year later; here I am ; still learning about myself; doing a lot of physical labor, which has given me a little muscle. Finding my way one day at a time. Learning to live more simply and on way ,way less money. But I am okay and hopeful. I have that now; hope. Thanks for all your support; I am hoping this next year is the best ever; every day now is the best ever.

Thursday, June 10, 2010

Who???

Well; I bet that is what you all are saying,right?? I know it has been a while, but I am back at it!!! I have a lot to share with you all. This past weekend was the one year anniversary of losing Niles. It was sad and I still miss him, but my two friends really came through for me as they have done many times in the past year.
Sonny and Karen came over on Friday and brought their two mugs; a mini pin and a "chi-weenie" hee-hee' love that name! They also brought a ton of food, flowers to plant and assorted goodies! And most important, they came to be with me so I wouldn't be alone. They are truly the best! I love them so much:)

Due to the economy and my current state of finances ( umm... none!LOL) I am working hard on prim/country crafts to sell here and in our Country Sampler store where we will be renting a booth so if you "need" something send me an email and I will get it right to you. Sonny is my partner; he is a master at woodcraft! He actually worked in a factory in Northern Michigan that made these huge butcher block islands like I have in my kitchen!!! I have designed some things and he is great at designing in his head and popping out something great!!!

I am hoping that this is successful for us and will lead to not having to work for others ever again!!! My dream has always been to own a country store! So here are some goodies to start with: and we will ship to other countries as well, but of course you will need to pay the traveling costs; we can check it and give you a quote on that.

These are the sock stretchers made from an antique one we saw while out and about one day; they are available in any color and are antiqued and sealed with a matte finish.

Thay are a nice size and are 17.00 plus traveling fee; email me for an estimate.

This is the piggie that is also a blackboard; available in black as well; comes with chalk and a hanger/tail of homespun; he is 25.00 plus traveling fee;
These are my favorites right now; I have them done up right now in every country color you can imagine! This was a special one for Americana folks. He is from an antique pig cutting board that I own. They are so cute! And we are making larger ones to go outside in your yard as well. These will be 12.00 plus traveling fee.


We will of course try to find you the cheapest rates for mailing and we will combine all your orders in one shipment if possible. Email me for details and to order; no extra charge for different colors. I hope you all like these things as much as we do. I will also be offering re-dos and other prim/country items as I find them. We are trying to really stimulate the economy here in Michigan by buying from local sources for supplies as well as other goodies. So you will be helping out by buying yourself a few goodies! LOL!!! See you soon with more! My email is wheretheblackbirdssing at gmail.com.

Friday, March 26, 2010

Make your car a no phone zone



I was watching Oprah the other day with my daughter. The topic was distracted driving. I have been guilty of this in the past myself. No I do NOT text and drive, but I have spoken on the phone, and even have eaten while I drove on occasion. This episode brought home the dangers of ANY distraction. So I won't be doing that anymore! They say when you know better, you do better and I am doing better.

I thought of my daughter driving on the roads with people who do this and I was struck by how quickly it can happen! I have threatened her life (LOL) if she EVER texts while driving and we agreed that she will pull over if she needs to make a call and will not answer the phone until her car is stopped. I can't protect her from everyone out there that does stupid things, but I can try to make my voice heard to try and keep her, and all of us safer on the roads. I am a big proponent of stopping drunk driving and so this just fits right in. I am not against drinking or texting; just do it at home, not in the car!

One story on Oprah really got me, as the young man was killed when he dropped his phone and tried to retrieve it from the floor and crashed headfirst into a tree; he was killed instantly. Such a innocent thing resulted in his loss of his life. All the stories were heartbreaking; families devastated by something so stupid and preventable. And it is not just kids doing this! There were adults doing it as well!!

We really don't need to be THAT connected and that self centered that our desires should end someone's life or our own. That phone call can wait! And tell everyone to stop that stupid texting crap! Personally. I just don't get it. I can call you and say what I need to say in a couple of minutes; it takes me forever to text and it is so impersonal. But I get that people just love it, and like anything else, it needs to be done appropriately! Not while you are driving a vehicle or any other activity that requires attention.

I think technology is great, but we are becoming more and more disconnected from each other. I see and hear people EVERYWHERE yakking away like they are totally alone. Some of these conversations are really inappropriate and bizarre. I see people at dinner in restaurants blabbing away on the phone while their dinner companion basically eats alone,and the rest of us have to listen to a totally invasive conversation; usually carried on quite loudly!

No one needs to lose their life over this. I signed Oprah's no phone zone promise; you can too by going here; http://www.oprah.com/packages/no-phone-zone.html

Remember the life you save may be your own.

Monday, March 15, 2010

Where have I been?




The Piz


the Murphy!


I have been gone a while. I have been under a whole lot of stress lately. Many of you know I love my bulldogs. Two of them Murphy and Sydney ( aka the Piz) have been in the vets office a good bit all through this month. Murphy needed a second surgery ( in addition to the one on his palate as a pup) to remove more of his palate and also to remove laryngeal saccules which were keeping him from breathing well. That was in the beginning of March. That was something that I knew had to be done. But to get him there I had to get up at 3:30 am and drive him a hour and a half to the best bulldog vet in the state. That wasn't as hard as letting the tech take his leash from me and watching him look back at me; me with the tears right in my eyes as I tried to pretend it was not a big deal for his sake. I watched him until they disappeared behind that door, wondering would I see him again alive, would this be the last kiss I ever gave him? He came through it like a puppy. His brother Niles was in Heaven I know watching and guiding the surgeon, this I know right along with God. For Niles is our angel in Heaven and I know he knows how much I miss him even today as I write this, tears are flowing.

Last weekend, the Piz and Murphy began having a lot of congestion; breathing was difficult for them both. I drove down there to the vet's office terrified. Murphy was deemed okay; but then Piz was critically ill. It went from maybe its a viral thing between to finding out she had lungs filled with liquid; but she also had a congenital defect called megaesophagus.( It is a large esophagus that has problems with moving the food and drink into the stomach, so it is often regurgitated and many times aspirated into the lungs) They believe that due to this condition she aspirated either food or water into her lungs and developed a pneumonia.
So I am faced with the possibility that she might die. She spent the night and as I was going to get her, they called and said she needed to stay as she had gotten worse and had blood in mucus from her nose. Well I just had a meltdown. My daughter has been with me all through this and I think she was surprised when I just lost it completely and began to cry and hyperventilate. I generally do NOT cry in front of others ( there is only one person in the world that I have shared my tears with and he knows who he is ) It stems from something that happened to me a long time ago. I feel so ashamed and embarrassed to cry in public. But this day after all the fear and worry over the Murph, I just could not hold it in any longer. Finally we picked her up on Wednesday; I felt lost without her. She is Niles' twin! Without her the house became even more sad and deathly quiet. She was down the first day, but she has begun to be her old loud,bossy self. Such joy in that little package.

The really neat thing was that when we (my husband went with me to get her) got to the vets office, we got to meet another bulldog who just had three babies; and we were allowed to see the little ones. That was such a highlight after so much sadness, To see that was for me, to step back in time; to when we went to see our sweet boy Niles; our very first bulldog. I could still feel the love we had for each other and for our new baby. It was like bringing a newborn baby home from the hospital when we brought him home. I will never forget that feeling of hope, joy and love that was shared on that day in February of 2000. Seeing those puppies brought that all back to me.
Piz slept all the way back to my husband's truck. When we dropped him off, as I was driving away I noticed Piz had rose up and was looking out the back window, with her little paw on it like she was so sad to say goodbye to her dad. It made my heart sad to see that despite all the sadness and stress of this past year.

The truth be told, I still harbor love in my heart for her dad because I remember who he really is; not what he has become now. We are still a family; we are just not together in the same house right now. I have forgiven him because unless I do that I am not worthy of forgiveness myself from God who sees it all and knows my heart. What the future holds I do not know; but I am doing the very best I can with what I am. I miss having those conversations and discoveries with him. I am still not sure of I can do it with someone else in the future if it comes to that.
Its hard when so much has been lost; that is why this month only 15 days in, has been so darn difficult for me. So much fear and sadness.

But in contrast, I have found that there is a spirit in my friends that burns bright. My friends Sonny and Karen came over to spend the weekend prior to Murphy's surgery with me. Somehow they knew that I needed to have company to keep my mind from wandering. They made food; Sonny made me LOTS of cheesecakes; chocolate and my new favorite; coconut cheesecake. My friend Sue and her daughter Rikki came over the weekend before last and we had a great brunch of biscuits and gravy and bacon. After that we sewed all day and crafted with Rikki. Then my daughter went into town and brought back sandwiches for dinner. We were quite productive! I finished the curtains for my friend Karen, made a pillow for Rikki, Sue pinned everything; it was like an assembly line! They brought my other fur kid Bailey; I trained him for Sue and raised him as an honorary bulldog with my boys. They all played and had fun too!

Just a few days ago, I heard the red winged blackbirds singing outside. To me that is one of the two indicators of Spring ( that is also where my blog name came from) The other one occurred also; my biker friend and neighbor got his bike out and was up and down the road more than once. Now I ride too, but I am so not that dedicated! When you get going it can be quite cold!!! LOL! So the world goes on here in my little bulldog farm where the blackbirds sing ( and the bikers ride by calling my name)

Friday, February 26, 2010

GIVEAWAY!!

WOOO! Check out this giveaway from Firecracker Kid!!!! I sooooo want this, but I am sharing it with my friends!!! Go here to enter. Good Luck! ( If I don't win this, guess I am gonna have to save up ALLLL my pennies to buy one from her!!!) The winner will be announced on St. Patty's Day on her blog. So git on over there y'all!

Friday, February 19, 2010

A Friday Laugh!

Hey y'all; here he is MY DREAM MAN!!! LOL!!! I got his in an email and just thought it was a hoot!!! Hell, if a guy is this creative with duct tape; who knows what else he is capable of!!!! This just cracks me up!!!!! The hat and shoes match OMW!!!


Tuesday, February 16, 2010

this weeks happee iz on backorder :)

the picture would not let me resize it; so the title of this post reflects the words used! I love this guy:)

funny pictures of dogs with captions
see more dog and puppy pictures

Friday, February 12, 2010

Have a bully-ful Valentines Day



The bullies and I want to send our love and best wishes to all our friends! The bullies love every holiday and I try to find them things to celebrate with. I bought them 3 cookies and this is what they looked like before:




And after: Watch the video to see the Valentine's Day Cookie Massacre! Lead by the mug named Zoey! ( Usually I break the cookies into smaller pieces and so then no one gets a tummy ache! LOL)


video


We are sending a special bully Valentine to our very special friend Dexter; our prayers that he will be healed and quickly get back to being himself. We love you Dexter!

My Country Baby Murphy