I came to say I have made it to Thursday. I wanted to come and say to you all; thank you for all your prayers and sweet thoughts. I have found it hard to read them without crying for it is a wonderful thing when strangers will stop to take time to say a kind word to someone they have never met. Yet here I guess we are not really strangers are we?
Here we share our happiness and our sorrow knowing others will help us along. Kindnesses extended to a fellow blogger or non-blogger; things that we may not be safe to do in our daily lives because of the way the world is today. I am alone at home, yet when I turn on this magic box I can instantly be transported to any place in the world I choose. I have friends I have never met, yet they give me something I have not ever had; support and belonging. I try to return that kindness.
In our little blogging world live people with such big hearts. They are always willing to extend a hand without even thinking of any reward. They are selfless and have a spirit that I wish to cultivate. Women of strength and valor,honor.
You all have left me in tears reading your comments; tears of joy that for the first time I belong to a community of support. I have gone through much sadness in my life alone. My husband is a man and men grieve on the run I think; they are often taught that grief is not a manly thing and so many are not brought up to know how to handle emotions, especially grief. He does the best he can, but he goes off to work and I am left here to walk through a loud silence. I didn't know how much Niles contributed to my life and the laughter here, and the love. The house is so quiet now and sad.I am mostly alone during the day until I come here.
I came here in pain on Saturday. I don't know why, but I needed something outside my home. I have come here in happy times; to share our life with you. Our love for these furkids and my quest to be the Queen of Country Sampler.
I have come here to learn from you; to see your life and its rewards as well as your struggles. There is no judgement here; there is only unending support. You laugh and cry with me; you offer encouragement and prayers. You bring me laughter and hope. You lift me up when I cannot walk. You give me courage and drive with the words you leave on your blogs. You have made me want to live a better life; to be a better wife; a better mom. I wish I had you all years ago when I struggled with life. I have had pain in my past that I can't seem to put to rest; if I had a place such as this then, maybe things would be different. But I am glad I have you now.
When we make these blogs, they are for us initially. But they have become so much more than just a frivolous waste of time; they have become a support system, an educational endeavor; who hasn't learned something here? I learned about making hummingbird cakes ( to eat) from Susan; pantry cakes from Jenn( to show in a bowl); I learned about ole Mr Snakie from Shanda (among other things); from so many I learned hope; my first swap PIF from my bully buddy Jane; she has also taught me a lot more! Cynthia Lee taught me about graciousness I will never forget the PIF gifts she sent me. Shari taught me some business; Char taught me all kinds of good things from Mason jar goodies to woodworking. Jill taught me about Kentucky and her wonderful life; Leslie reminded me about being a young mother; and I wish I were as good at it when I was her age; I wasn't! She has a wonderful life. And talent. So many young moms who are rich in the right way; they may not have money but they are building our future and we all will be the richer for it; moms like RuthAnn of WarmPie,HappyHome; wow I wish I could be as good as her at everything. Tammy my lil country girl; who has a sweet girl of her own whose very name, Joy, gives me a thought of just that:Joy. Michele another country gal who has it all together and keeps us on our toes:) This is just a small bit; there are those I have met in lands faraway; Australia;England,Scotland(hello Diane; still love that lil dress!) and closer; Canada; Sandy who sent me peppermints( and other goodies!) from Canada!
Another great friend; closer to home; Dawn at Holly Hills who is more than a shopkeeper! She is a great friend and a talent. Kim my bully buddy here in MI; who is funny and a great mom to her kids! Lori at PrimitiveHouse who is a gem;I know I am forgetting some folks; oops ;Meg my margarita bud and TrainWreck who made me a beautiful necklace and who has a hot cowboy for a DH! CindyDianne; I am so coming to Texas one day I swear! Her husband's blog cracks me up as well! Lisa has shown me courage in taking control of our bodies, there are so many of you all. I have learned and have been touched by every one of you all. These blogs may not look like much to the general public, but they are important. You never know who is reading them. You can be that inspiration to someone looking for guidance. Sometimes we just need to know someone is listening.
Thank you for sharing your world with me. Also, to PrimAngel; thank you for your comment; it was so heartfelt; I wish to convey my thanks to you, but was unable to do so on your blog; if you email me at firstname.lastname@example.org I would love to say thank you again.
I am so amazed at all of you; you offer love and care to everyone; I am so wishing to send some your way; from all of us here; we send bully love and kisses to you all; our blessings from our hearts to you. Thank you my friends. and to the new friends and the ones I have yet to meet; bully love and kisses to you as well. If I did not mention you it is probably because I am having stupid mad cow memory issues AKA probable menopause! I still prefer mad cow thank you very much. (If you are on my blog list you know you are loved; I am too lazy to type that much without some kind of attachment!LOL)
Saturday, June 6, 2009
I write these words through tears; so I hope there aren't too many typos. My sweet boy Niles left us this afternoon. He was never ill; other than his eye issue, and even today, he was playing acting as usual. This morning I hand fed him his food; because he wanted to be babied as he often did. Then we sat on the couch and I cuddled him and told him how much I loved him; then I put in his eye drops. I was going to go to Quincy today for a prim show and possibly Holly to the prim shop. I was on my way to Holly had just gotten off at the exit when my husband called me to tell me he was gone. He was out with his dad and siblings playing with his favorite ball. He stopped playing and laid down to nap and then he left us. The pain I feel right now I cannot describe. I feel guilty because I left today; I was not ready to let him go. I never would be. I hoped for a miracle; a dog that lives as long as we do. I screamed in the car and cried for a long time; I drove home screaming and crying. I saw him when I came home; I kissed his muzzle goodbye. I hoped my husband was wrong; maybe he is just asleep. But no, he has gone. I am left with a broken heart. We took them to McDonalds last night for a burger. Niles was so happy! I tried to give him and all of them my all. I tried to give them everything I could. I hope he was happy; I think he was. I will love him forever. I didn't write about him as much and for that I am sorry. His favorite song was "Who Let the Dogs Out" and he would dance to that! He loved hamburgers, dog bones and rides in the car. He was extremely smart and I often counted on him as he knew everything. He loved life; he loved everyone and everything he came in contact with. His favorite toy was the big orange ball he played with today. Second favorite was his ringy-ding-ding. He growl talked to me and would often carry on a conversation with me at length. He loved water and his favorite thing was for one of us to say "soak-a-bull" he would then run to that bathroom and bark at the tub! He was a one in a million baby. He was not my dog, he was my child, my heart. I was struck immediately when I came home by his loss. Even with four, now three, you immediately feel the missing part of your heart. We will bury him by the willow tree he loved. I wish I could have him back; I am so very,very broken today. I love the all I do. But he was my very first bully and really the best. I will be back sometime in the near future. Right now, I have to learn to live without him. I really don't know how. I love you Niles! My sweet boy; forever in my heart.
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
In loving memory of Jake,Nari,and Joey who went to the Rainbow Bridge on May 28.2009. (Image from Dogster) Hoping there are endless toys,bones and lots of friends there for you all. I know you will be missed by your family greatly.
This is Nari (above)
This is Nari (above)
This is Jake (above)
This is Joey (above)
Today I opened my email to find a sad notice from Dogster. A family's THREE dogs were poisoned by someone with antifreeze and all were lost. You can read all about it here: http://dogblog.dogster.com/2009/05/29/sad-day-at-dogster/
I am truly sickened by the evil in this world. Many years ago I had this happen to me not once but twice. My Irish Setter was poisoned by a neighbor who was a wife beater and child abuser; I had helped his wife get help and food and medicine for her children, he was a dirty low life and took it out on my dog. (I did get him later though; I am NOT a turn the other cheek type; I bashed in the headlights on his car and the windshield and I flattened every tire he had!)
The second time; my beautiful Great Dane Arielle died; I thought it was heat exhaustion; we took her to the vet and found out that she was poisoned; then the little mixed stray I named Killer; he was a doll; but little and thought he was a big dog; he loved Arielle and she loved him; became ill; I thought maybe he was mourning the loss of her, but no, he also had been poisoned and the vet said we had to put him to sleep. I was so broken over this whole incident. I never could prove who really did it, but I had a suspicion that our elderly female neighbor had done this as she had been trouble from the first day we moved in. She once called the police on my kids, who were very young then, for, get this, playing in the dirt inside our OWN fenced in YARD!!! The police, they did nothing; animals just don't rate any help. Which makes me sick!
We now live in the country and each time I think I might like to move to a town, I remember these things and think I'll just stay put. I am so angry that some idiot would kill these animals; society is just getting worse and worse. And even if they find this idiot; they really won't do much. I'll tell you why; the morons who often show up for jury duty are just that; morons! I will tell you why I think that; here in Huron County,MI there was a horrific case of a gigantic asshole who thought he would teach his neighbor's PUPPY a lesson about not wandering on to his farm; so he tied the dog to the bumper of his truck and dragged that puppy home; damn near killing it; its paws were almost completely burned off from the road rash; he drove at highway speeds!
The dog was in great pain; the vet was able to work on it and save its life. This asshole was charged with something like animal cruelty and you know what; the idiots on the jury let him go!!!! Now,you may be a great juror and very good at it; but these jerks should ALL be drug behind a truck themselves. You know the way a society treats its animals shows a lot about that society.
I am beside myself with anger. I can feel the pain of these folks. You know to live among others and not know who would do such a thing to a poor defenseless animal; well it is very hard. I hope that you all that read this might drop over to Dogster and leave a note for the family; if you go to their page; there is an envelope icon there to leave a note. I think everyone on my blog list is an animal lover and I know that you all love your furbabies as much as I love mine.
I am sorry to bring you such sad news, but the world is so full of meanness; we must all be on guard. And we must all make sure to give our kindness and love to combat the evil. So hug ALL your babies; human and canine,feline,equine etc. Let them know you love them every day.