That was a long ole' break. Well, like many of you, I have been trying to find the time to do things and write, and visit you all.( Okay; I HAVE been visiting also called "lurking"!LOL) The past month I have been really Spring cleaning in anticipation of my friend from Indiana's visit. I mean REALLY cleaning!!! I needed to do this, but I had NO motivation or energy until this came up!!!
We went through the end of commuter college together. We both were never able to attend college as kids, so we attended a college for, basically,adults. That is where we met. And for some reason, we became very close friends. We both went through a lot in order to finish college. She was suddenly thrust into the role of single mom to two boys when her husband ran off to do his own thing, which consisted of dealing drugs and mainly getting into trouble with his gang. This all culminated in his arrest trying to cross back into Michigan from Canada where he had gone to secure more marijuana I believe.
She was lucky to have the support of her mom and sister. And then we met and we kind of helped each other. I was married at the time, rather unhappily, and had two kids as well so I guess we bonded over that. Both of us had married very early and became responsible people wayyyy earlier than our peers. We are probably seven years apart in age, but not very noticeable to us.
We began to do things that we had NEVER done before; like go out to bars and listen to music/dance. We both experienced some wild times like we had never done before in our lives; we were always homemakers and stay at home moms. I think we were really, in the beginning , seduced by the glitter of the night scene. I love music and going out to dance, but my husband did not, so we never went out to anything. My friend, was always afraid of going out so she just stayed at home too. But together we were never afraid to try anything.
We often hung out with others from school or from her neighborhood. We only did this on Friday and Saturday nights. Yes, we drank, silly amounts of alcohol at times. Neither of us had ever done this so we were just nuts! I was an addictions counselor so I know alcohol abuse when I see it and when I do it!!! LOL! Eventually, we graduated, but we kept having fun. I got a job prior to graduation and so could not be out all the time. My marriage broke up prior to graduation for so many reasons and for the first time in my life, I had my own home and was a single mom too. And, it was okay. Not easy, but okay.
I had met someone at school that I was deeply in love with and admired. That relationship and working eventually lead to a loss of contact with my friend. You know how life gets in the way sometimes of being with people you love? We still talked on the phone, and we went out from time to time, but I grew away from that "fun". I have to also say that I am the child of an alcoholic who died from the disease of alcoholism when I was just eighteen (my mother). She drank for nine years straight and it killed her. So I am acutely aware of the risks inherent in abuse of chemicals. And now being educated as an addictions counselor adds to that wealth of knowledge!
Eventually I left the U.S. with the subject of my admiration. At one time, my friend came there to visit. She is that kind of friend; she will go to the ends of the Earth for you! She brought her youngest son, whom I always had a soft spot for. He was a little guy then. We had a nice visit and then she returned home. After that we talked on the phone a lot. And she was the person who called to let me know that my son had died; she was trying to get me to call my daughter for the news, but eventually she told me. She was the one who stood by me through all the bad times ; the funeral and wake; and then somehow, I lost track of her. I know that I was depressed for a long time and did not want to be around people for any length of time. It was as though I had changed; that was what I felt.
Each time, from the moment I received the news, I left the house I felt lost. I felt like I could NOT understand why the world kept going on while my world was devastated. I often felt overwhelmed by life, the grocery store was so overstimulating that I didn't like to go there alone.Add to it that I was in a country I never lived in before with no friends nearby, and you can see why I was dis-engaging from life.
I still talked to her, not about my grief, because; it is strange how people react to this loss of mine. I know they don't know what to say or how to act. I get that, I really do. I have been there myself. But eventually I just lost touch with my old world.
When we moved to Michigan, where I also knew absolutely no one, I let her know where I was and we touched base briefly. That is when I lost the connection. I moved again to the country here in Michigan and could not find her. Time has gone by so quickly.
Well one night I was on Facebook and MySpace and thought of her older son and he loved computers. I figured that if anyone would be on the Internet, it would be him! I had sent messages to people with her name to no avail. But I found a young man with his name and even though the picture was very unfamiliar,it had been over eight years since I last saw him at my son's funeral, I sent him a message.
He responded and my friend and I were reconnected! And so she made plans to come here. When I was in Indiana in December, I drove around her town trying to find a sign of her. I later found out that her mom had passed away last year and that she had a little girl that was now 6! Of all things!! She did come here these past three days and we were able to go out for a brief tour of my area; she is a urban girl and I am a country girl. She was amazed at the space and the quiet here. I wish we had more time, but she says this summer they will come back. I hope they do. And I will go there too.
She now has a guy in her life and a house of her own. She works in sales and is happy with that. She still does the party thing, but appears able to handle it. But no matter what I will always be her friend as she will always be mine.
Part of me wishes that I could do as she wants and move back there, but the other half loves my home and the quiet. Who knows what the future will bring? I know it was nice to be able to see her and to also see the changes in myself. We graduated in 1997; and I know more about myself now than I did then.
I have made many friends here in Michigan, and have learned a lot of new things. I have made a lot of friends on this blog too. So no matter where I end up I will always have my blog with me to record the new events without losing the old.
I do have some other neat things to share; I went to GW yesterday and yes, I agree that they are pricing things WAYYYY too high! I know it is for charity, but you are going to price some folks right out of the market and then there will be NO money to give out at all. I did get a few things;
All for $11.00!!! The framed picture was brand new from Kmart and still had the sales tag; $12.99; I got it for $2.99; I figured even if I get tired of the picture, it's a great frame! The blue thing I will paint and the burgundy box too; it was from JoAnn's and still had it's price on it; it was like $15.99 or something; I paid $2.99. Everything else was under a dollar; some were the color of the day and were half off; so they were like 30 or 40 cents! You just have to be aware of prices just like anywhere.
I also went to Cadillac a couple of weeks ago as Pam from basketsandprims suggested. That is one great place, the whole town and a big GW; we then went to Traverse City as I had never been there either; and woooo! We had some fun. I found the cutest quilt shop; the Quilt-N-Bee! The owner is a cute girl who is so much like me it's scary!!! But she is so lovable!!! She and her mom own the shop and it is fab!!! And I did not take any pics there cuz I am a moron!!! I will next time, cuz I am going back there! She suggested Red's Barbecue for dinner and it was GOOOOOD!
We also went to the D.O.G. bakery!!!! Daisy and Oscar's Gourmet Dog Bakery! We bought the most beautiful hand made dog treats ever!
A bag of Shamrock cookies and a bag of Michigan shaped cookies made from cherries! If you go to Traverse City go to D.O.G. Bakery. We also went to Cherry Republic!!! WOOO! I got a whole BIG bag of dark chocolate dried Michigan cherries! Nummy!!! And we got some cherry wine, some hard cherry cider andddd they let you taste things before you buy them. They also had samples of mulled cherry wine, so good on a cold winter day. So aromatic in your home too!!
Well I guess I better go on now and get the pups their dinner!!!! I'll be back soon with more antics and goodies!!!