Saturday, June 6, 2009
We lost our baby Niles today
I write these words through tears; so I hope there aren't too many typos. My sweet boy Niles left us this afternoon. He was never ill; other than his eye issue, and even today, he was playing acting as usual. This morning I hand fed him his food; because he wanted to be babied as he often did. Then we sat on the couch and I cuddled him and told him how much I loved him; then I put in his eye drops. I was going to go to Quincy today for a prim show and possibly Holly to the prim shop. I was on my way to Holly had just gotten off at the exit when my husband called me to tell me he was gone. He was out with his dad and siblings playing with his favorite ball. He stopped playing and laid down to nap and then he left us. The pain I feel right now I cannot describe. I feel guilty because I left today; I was not ready to let him go. I never would be. I hoped for a miracle; a dog that lives as long as we do. I screamed in the car and cried for a long time; I drove home screaming and crying. I saw him when I came home; I kissed his muzzle goodbye. I hoped my husband was wrong; maybe he is just asleep. But no, he has gone. I am left with a broken heart. We took them to McDonalds last night for a burger. Niles was so happy! I tried to give him and all of them my all. I tried to give them everything I could. I hope he was happy; I think he was. I will love him forever. I didn't write about him as much and for that I am sorry. His favorite song was "Who Let the Dogs Out" and he would dance to that! He loved hamburgers, dog bones and rides in the car. He was extremely smart and I often counted on him as he knew everything. He loved life; he loved everyone and everything he came in contact with. His favorite toy was the big orange ball he played with today. Second favorite was his ringy-ding-ding. He growl talked to me and would often carry on a conversation with me at length. He loved water and his favorite thing was for one of us to say "soak-a-bull" he would then run to that bathroom and bark at the tub! He was a one in a million baby. He was not my dog, he was my child, my heart. I was struck immediately when I came home by his loss. Even with four, now three, you immediately feel the missing part of your heart. We will bury him by the willow tree he loved. I wish I could have him back; I am so very,very broken today. I love the all I do. But he was my very first bully and really the best. I will be back sometime in the near future. Right now, I have to learn to live without him. I really don't know how. I love you Niles! My sweet boy; forever in my heart.